Take some time on your own to decide what healthy relationships and friendships are. Make a list of the things you want, and also the things you need (ex: would be nice if we had things in common, not always necessary. But I need honesty)
Step two-
Commit yourself to the standards you have for your relationship. Articulate what you will not tolerate. Promise yourself that you won’t allow specific behavior from anyone.
Step three-
Mean it.
Step four-
If a person does not adhere to your boundaries, let them know they have crossed a line. Not in a week from now, not later on when it happens again. Immediately address the disrespect, let it be known that it wasn’t ok, and say you cannot be around a person who behaves that way/treats you that way
Step five-
Mean it.
Step six-
Give the person space to demonstrate they understand your boundaries. No need to nag or continually bring up how to felt slighted. Give the person space to change their behavior.
Step seven-
If the person crosses your boundaries again, create space from them. You may or may not decide for that space to be permanently cutting them off, or just demoting them from friend to acquaintance. Do not pretend that it didn’t bother you. Do not ignore it. Do not immediately forgive them. They did not respect your boundaries, so they are not equipped to be in your life.
Step eight-
Understand that this applies to you too. If you violate somebodies boundaries, they are entitled to eliminating you from their life. Respect them enough to take yourself out of their life until they invite you back in. Don’t get mad when they don’t forgive you right away. The reason why you don’t cross boundaries is because you respect the person and value the relationship/friendship too much to ever do something that could end it. Think of your consequences before you cross the line, not after.
